How to support a surrogate pregnancy
How to support a gestational carrier through pregnancy:
Whether she is partnered or single, a gestational carrier needs plenty of support through the journey. Her family and agency will, of course, be supportive, but she is not doing it for them. She is doing it to help grow your family, so a lot of support should come from the intended parents, too. There are a few ways that you can do this.
Communication!
This is number one, and as with all communication, you will need to be honest. Honesty is always the best policy. Be respectful! We are all taught from a young age to treat others like you want to be treated – and it’s great advice. Be involved in the process; this is your baby, she is not taking it home, you are, and the number one thing she wants is for you to see your baby grow and to be at all those milestones in the pregnancy. Lastly, show gratitude and appreciation. This can be done in many different ways. A small kind gesture can go a long way.
Maintaining honesty and open clear communication is the number one support you can give. As an intended parent, it is important to always have communication with your gestational carrier. This also goes for all the other parties in your journey like your agency so they can be at most help to you and your gestational carrier together. Open and honest communication will enable you to listen carefully to your gestational carrier's needs and any concerns she has. This will be extremely helpful in building that relationship.
It is important in life to be respectful no matter where you go, but showing respect to the person who is helping you build your family is vital. Everyone sees respect in different ways, so having clear and open communication you should be able to see how important it is to be supportive of her needs and feelings. This means being prepared to handle emotions that might come up! Surrogacy can be an emotional process for all parties. Be supportive of your surrogate's feelings and emotions and help create a supportive environment for her.
Be involved!
She is doing this for you. Being involved in the process can help build a strong relationship that will make sure that everyone is on the same page. Being involved can look different for everyone. It might be attending some medical appointments, if you are able. If you are not able, then asking how she is doing and how the appointment went can go a long way. Do be careful to respect boundaries. It is important to respect any boundaries she might have or the request for privacy.
Show gratitude!
This one may seem obvious, but surrogacy is such an incredible gift that it is important to show gratitude and appreciation to the surrogate and her family. This is a journey that her whole family is going through, so show thanks and appreciation for that. This can be a big gesture, such as flowers or something sweet, or something as simple as a handwritten note. The little things really can go a long way.
It all goes back to the Golden Rule: treat others how you want to be treated. To learn more about the process or obtain help on how to support your gestational carrier feel free to reach out.