Growing your family is such a personal decision. When you are faced with the prospect that you may not be able to carry a pregnancy of your own, it opens the door wide for a lot of questions, many of which don’t always have tidy or easy answers. We frequently hear from parents that they are still deciding between adoption and surrogacy and aren’t certain which direction they would like to go. While we don’t have the answers for you, here are some things to think about. 

Medical Process

Surrogacy is a planned pregnancy that is achieved via in vitro fertilization (IVF).  Either the intended mother or an egg donor undergoes an egg retrieval and that egg is utilized to create an embryo. Likewise, either the intended father gives a sample or a sperm donor is used.  The gestational carrier is typically required to take fertility related medications and undergo extensive medical testing and monitoring during the early phases of the process. Once she is pregnant, she is seen by her OB/GYN just like any other pregnant person. Adoption is typically not a planned pregnancy and no early medical intervention is necessary to create the pregnancy.

Genetics

This may or may not matter to you as a parent.  In adoption, the baby you will be bringing home will not have any genetic connection to you.  That can also be true in surrogacy, though! It is possible to achieve a surrogate pregnancy while also utilizing donor egg and donor sperm, although this is less common and usually the baby is genetically related to one or both parents. 

Screening and Prenatal Care

Surrogacy involves extensive medical screening and testing. The surrogate is screened for drug and alcohol use and contracts are in place ensuring that she receives proper pre-natal care throughout the pregnancy.  Birth mothers in adoption go through far less invasive screening and much of their history, such as drug and alcohol use during the pregnancy, is self-disclosed. 

Matching Process

In adoption, parents may give some level of criteria as to who they are willing to match with, however, it is ultimately the birth mother’s choice who she places the baby with. Surrogacy matching is much more mutual.  Intended parents and gestational carriers see profiles about each other and if interested they meet and get to know each other better before making the decision to match together. 

Relationship

Legal parameters will be put in place during an adoption to outline contact after the birth. This is a broad spectrum that can range from no contact ever after birth (this is very rare now), to limited contact or open contact adoption.  In surrogacy the relationship remains open but usually becomes more of a long-distance friendship as time goes on after the birth of the child. Intended parents may also choose to cut that contact off completely and have no obligation to keep the relationship going. 

Compensation and Cost

Surrogacy and adoption both involve extensive services by many professionals that add to the cost. While adoptive mothers may not benefit financially from the adoption arrangement, they may be reimbursed for their reasonable living expenses such as rent and groceries. On the other hand, surrogates can be, and usually are, compensated for their time, energy and sacrifices they are making during the pregnancy.

In addition to surrogacy usually being more expensive, there are fewer avenues to help reduce the cost.  Adoption has a federal tax credit, while no similar benefit exists for surrogacy.

Legal Process

In adoption, parental rights cannot be terminated until after the baby is born and the birth mother may change her mind during a legally mandated amount of time in most states. For surrogacy, in addition to legal contracts that are put in place before an embryo transfer even takes place, in most states in the United States pre-birth parentage documents can be obtained outlining that the baby in legally the child of the parents from the moment of birth. There is no ability for the gestational carrier to keep the baby.

It can be difficult to mull over all of the differences and implications of both adoption and surrogacy. Don’t hesitate to schedule a free consultation appointment to talk through all things surrogacy with us!