Heather

What month and year was your surrogate baby born?

“December 2019”

What originally inspired you to look into surrogacy?

"My husband and I have some very dear friends who struggle with fertility. We saw their heartbreak and realized that my fertility was a blessing. I wanted to share the blessing of being a parent with those who wanted it most."

What was your favorite or most memorable moment during this whole process?

“Giving birth was one of the most amazing moments of my life. It was the overwhelming feeling of giving life to a child and then seeing the joy of her mother's eyes as she saw her daughter for the first time. I will never forget that moment or that feeling.”

What was the most unexpected part of this process?  

“The most unexpected part for me was the IVF part. All the appointments and the medications were overwhelming at times. It gave me a very deep respect for women who go through the IVF process.”

How was the matching process?

"The matching process, to me, was a little like online dating. You put yourself out there and hope that someone likes what they see! Once you are selected, you have the excitement and nervousness of meeting them. I knew instantly that we would be a match once we met."

How was the pregnancy and how involved were the intended parents during the pregnancy?

"The pregnancy for me was just like any other. I knew going into it that the child wasn't mine, so the only difficult part was going through the not so fun parts of pregnancy. I found it difficult to be in pain or discomfort when it wasn't my child that I was suffering for. I did not anticipate those emotions. Whenever I felt this way, I would try to imagine the intended parents faces when they saw their baby on delivery day and that seemed to help me a lot."

How did you talk to other people about the process, like your friends and family? Even Strangers?

“I was not sure how people would receive it, and frankly I didn't care. I knew why I was doing this and didn't matter what people thought. Once people realized I was a surrogate, many questions followed. Most of them were very interested because they had never met a surrogate. I was happy to talk about it. My family was very supportive.”

How did you talk to your kids about surrogacy before, during and after the birth?

"My children are young and we read a book about a mommy kangaroo who's pouch didn't work so she had to put her baby in another mommy's pouch. It really helped my children understand. They never seemed to struggle with the concept and were happy to have me home after delivery."

How was your delivery and post-pregnancy?

"My delivery was the easiest one yet! I was relaxed, after an amazing epidural of course. Post pregnancy was great. I was really worried about the psychological effects of delivering a baby and going home empty handed. The experience was so fulfilling that I wasn't sad or anything. I was ready to feel normal again. My hormones didn't feel crazy and I got right back into the swing of things pretty soon."

What were your feelings when you saw the intended parent(s) hold their baby for the first time?

"I cried! It was so amazing! I get emotional when I think about it or talk about it."

What was one thing you wished you would have had in your hospital bag that you forgot?

"I surprisingly didn't forget anything! That's a first!"

What is your relationship and contact with the intended parents now?

"We text here and there. I don't want to be bothersome when they are adjusting to a new family member. I love getting pictures."

What did your kid(s) and/or partner say when meeting the baby?

"My children were very curious and my husband was happy to meet her. We all love babies!"

What were some benefits of working with an agency?

“The case workers are 100% my advocate. They were amazing through the entire process. They were my voice and they were always available, kind and all over amazing.”

What words of wisdom would you share with other/newer gestational carriers?

“I didn't realize how the process would go. I felt like I'd get through a stage and wonder, ok what's next. The beginning isn't easy with medications, appointments, blood draws etc. Just keep in mind that in the end it is absolutely worth it!”

If you decided to be a gestational carrier again, what would be the reason?

"I would definitely do it for close friends or family."