Ariel

What month and year was your surrogate baby born?

“October 2019”

What originally inspired you to look into surrogacy?

"My inspiration for pursuing this journey is a cousin of mine who cannot have children due to medical issues. It got me thinking about the fact that there are other women that can’t carry, but want nothing more than to be a mom."

What was your favorite or most memorable moment during this whole process?

“The absolute most memorable part was seeing the parents hold their daughter. I could just feel the love they had for her!”

What was the most unexpected part of this process?  

“This was a way harder pregnancy than with my kids. I never really took my age into consideration. Never knew my ankles could swell so much! And all the doctor appointments! Had many early 4 am drives to get to the doctors office in time. Many more injections than anticipated, as well as an unplanned surgery to remove a fibroid before transfer could happen.”

How was the matching process?

"Very quick and easy. As soon as my husband and I met the intended parents, we felt like it was the perfect match. Being able to meet them at the beginning and just be able to talk and get to know each other was great."

How was the pregnancy and how involved were the intended parents during the pregnancy?

"The pregnancy was a fairly good pregnancy. There was a little bit of morning sickness which seemed to be connected to having dairy in the morning, easy fix. Once the heat of the summer hit, the swelling started which was a new thing for me. The parents were at every appointment up until the last 3 weeks since those were just a general check up, FaceTime was a great tool a few times. I would also get emails and text messages with words of gratitude for what I was doing for them."

How did you talk to other people about the process, like your friends and family? Even Strangers?

“I made my official surrogate announcement on Facebook after getting permission from parents. Several people knew ahead of time family wise. I just told my parents that I was in the process of being a surrogate, to which they said they completely supported it. I got nothing but support when I publicly announced it. Not many strangers said anything to me about my being pregnant. Several people would tell me congratulations, to which I would say “thank you, I’m a surrogate”, always said with pride.”

How did you talk to your kids about surrogacy before, during and after the birth?

"My husband and I sat them down and talked to them about what surrogacy meant. We explained that I would be pregnant, but the baby had different parents. That mommy was doing this because the babies mommy and daddy needed a little help to make their family. They wanted to meet the parents because they wanted to make sure they were nice people. My kids got to go to an ultrasound appointment and meet the parents. After they met the parents they said the baby was going to have nice parents."

How was your delivery and post-pregnancy?

"Delivery went pretty fast. Once contractions started baby girl was delivered 3 hours later. She was the biggest I’ve delivered so took a little extra pushing, but was my fastest delivery so far. Mom and dad were in the room from start to finish, definitely wasn’t the quietest environment once the pitocin hit! Mom was a blessing and held a leg during delivery. My husband spoke words of encouragement into my ears and wiped sweat from my bright red face. Dad also stood up towards the head of my bed waiting for his daughters debut. Post pregnancy has been good. Monitoring blood pressure for signs of preeclampsia that can show up after delivery as there’s always that risk. Stitches are healing great. Sleeping on my stomach again has been a long awaited reunion!"

What were your feelings when you saw the intended parent(s) hold their baby for the first time?

"Seeing them hold their daughter made my heart smile. Made the labor pains so worth it. I knew that I helped start a family for two extremely deserving individuals."

What was one thing you wished you would have had in your hospital bag that you forgot?

"Weather was nice when I went to hospital, and snowing while I was there. So I did not have a coat with me when I left."

What is your relationship and contact with the intended parents now?

"We have checked in on each other to see how things have been. Husband and I look forward to continuing a friendship."

What did your kid(s) and/or partner say when meeting the baby?

"My kids have not met the baby yet, but will one one day. My husband thought she was cute."

What were some benefits of working with an agency?

“Having an agency was a huge benefit in being a third party communicator. If anything arose that I had a question about, I was able to get ahold of someone almost right away, and they would make sure I had any questions answered. The support throughout the entire process and even after delivery has been wonderful.”

What words of wisdom would you share with other/newer gestational carriers?

“Make sure you have a support group. Be it family, friends or even a group on Facebook. Being able to talk to other surrogates definitely helped, especially since this was my first journey.”

If you decided to be a gestational carrier again, what would be the reason?

"My husband and I would have to feel the same peace as we did with this couple or just wait to see if they want to do a sibling journey down the road."